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Are you having an affair?

While we were away in Whangarei I had a dream which in this dream I saw several young married couples newly married, but I saw one of the husbands of these woman on the phone with a woman and too busily preoccupied with her to have time for his wife.  In this same dream I saw I was married to a man, but because I realised that he didn't love me, I quickly got our marriage annulled because I was still in a position to do so.

In reflecting on this dream and the words that popped into my mind during the dream it was actually talking about 'spiritual adultery'.  When we get married we put ourselves in covenant relationship with that person, to love, honour, cherish etc that other person for life.  That that person is the most special person and you are committing to keep that relationship special and important.  For me in this dream I saw the man on the phone with a woman and really felt that this was talking about the internet and actually phones now that I think about and look around me as people can't put down their phones, even when having a conversation with them, but also ministry as the man talking with the woman on the phone was trying to counsel her.  But whatever it is, even if it may be helping someone else, if that is taking our attention away from the covenant relationship we have made with our spouse, it is not good.    When we commit our lives to the Lord we have chosen to be in covenant relationship with him,  but for many of us we find our time taken over with ministry, with internet, with other things that distract us from our relationship with the Lord that eventually we find that relationship with the Lord is no longer as important and hold the place it once did and that is what is called 'spiritual adultery'.

Another thing I have learnt along the way in the area of spiritual adultery is that if I share things with other people where I am at emotionally and spiritually and haven't shared it first with Jim, then I am giving those people things that my husband first should have.  Your spouse is the first person (outside of the Lord) who should know where you are at, how you are feeling, what you are struggling with, but often we find ourselves talking to our friend and sharing our heart there, which too is fine, but remember that the first covenant relationship you have is with your spouse or whoever that is in your life, and so like a tithe, they deserve the 'first fruits' of that relationship.  That is a whole area that needs more discussion but now is not the time.

So for me in this dream there was the whole reminder of keeping in priority those covenant relationships and spending time making them happen.  Like when in my dream above sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that are not good for us and so I quickly annulled the relationship I was in, we have a choice and we need sometimes to break relationships or put boundaries in a little more with things or people that take us away from the Lord, from what is the best that the Lord would have for us.  For me when I get up in the morning for my quiet time with the Lord often I will just flick on the email to see what has popped into my box and that is okay, but then I have to self discipline myself away from the computer as I can easily get dragged into there and lose my time with the Lord and miss out on the more that he wants to give me and show me.  I am thankful for this reminder and even this week it had helped me hugely to keep in focus where I am spending my time and with whom or what. :)

Bless you all!

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