In childlike faith.... I wait

In childlike faith, I have declared what I have seen.

In childlike faith, I have believed that what I have seen my Papa has no problem in doing.

In childlike faith I have stepped out… but found that doors have been closed - FOR NOW.....

That others around me didn’t see what I saw,

That finances didn’t come to do what I believed in,

That people didn’t stand with me,

That for whatever reason that I blamed everyone else for the state of my heart.

And so day by day in disappointment of spirit, my dream becomes less to what I see in front of me,

Day by day by spirit starts to no longer believe for the ‘big’ vision that the Lord showed me,

Day by day my childlike faith becomes beset by conditions, “if that happens, then I will do this”.

And I find the once full of faith child is putting conditions on the steps of which she takes.

And yet his word says “Those who trust in the Lord will not be put to shame”.

And yet his word says “Those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength, they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint”.

And yet his word says “That He is able to do more than I think, ask or imagine”.

He is the “God of the impossible”.

And so I wait,

And so I watch,

And so I learn to trust that what He says He will do, He will do.

"My time frame is not yours" He says to me.

My thinking says “I am ready”.

His says, “There are still many things for you to learn’.

Day by day I surrender all.

Day by day I learn to walk, waiting, trusting, believing in the impossible of those things on my heart.

Day by day I question and continue to put on the altar the disappointment of my heart.

Day by day I choose to believe His word and stand in faith not on what I have seen but what I believe.

Day by day I come to him in tears and in that place His Holy Spirit renews my heart.

He renews my hopes,

He renews my dreams,

He whispers - keep going, don’t give up,

He encourages me on.

Until I can see with eyes that are willing,

Until I can see that there is something bigger being worked out in the foundations of my faith,

Until I can see that it’s not just about me but about all those he wants to bring alongside me,

Until I can see that He wants ALL the glory, not just some of it,

Until I can see that He is good and His plans are good despite how things may look.

Until I know that He is God and I learn to let go and rest and trust in Him.

And so I wait, with childlike faith being restored, renewed day by day.

And so I wait with eager expectation of what He is going to teach and show me today.

And so I wait and learn to ‘rest’ in Him and that ‘He’ is more than enough without the dream

and vision coming to pass.

That He and His presence is more than enough to satisfy every place in my heart.

That actually I only want Him and Him alone and without the journey of obedience in the day to day, I would not understand that He is the only living water that satisfies every place in my heart.

That the dream and vision is only a bypass of the relationship with Him that can not be surpassed.

That Eternity Life is found in Knowing Him and being Known by Him, not anything I can do for Him and with Him. And finally I rest…..I believe…… I trust….. with fullness and childlike faith of Heart.

"A man's enemies will be the members of his own household" Matt 10:36

Recently we have been pondering how to deal with situations in our family that don't line up with the word. What action do we need to take? Are we being too harsh? Do we accept the behaviour or be considered by those around us as "too radical" or "too black and white"? "Where is grace in all of this? How do we love the sinner but hate the sin? What about forgiveness? What is the role of discipline? What makes that sin any worse than lying? What is true love? And there are a lot more questions going through the mind in how to work through this and know God's will and desire for the situation and the person. And firstly to say we have not come to any conclusions and are growing and learning day by day in this but I want to throw it out there. In Matt 10:34-39 says "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn "a man against his father, ...

"I am ruined for the ordinary"

“I am ruined for the ordinary” A statement that can possibly be to some, come from a place of judgement, or it can be from a place of there is more in the Kingdom of God that I am yet to experience or understand, revelation that I have tasted of something that actually shows me that I have not tasted of anything yet. A place where there is such a contentment and joy in what I have seen and longed to see and yet a revelation that there is way more "beyond what I think, ask and imagine" (Eph 3:20) and one that spurs me on to seek and discover all the fullness that could be ours in the Kingdom of God. When we as Christians see other Christians going places or experiencing things that we don’t understand or perhaps we have not yet moved in, we can either become jealous of that person and judge and bring them down to our level, exclude them from our lives or we can choose to be excited by what is happening and be encouraged and spurred on in the Lord for the more than ca...

What do Kingdom finances look like?

I was asked by someone the other day what Kingdom finances looked like and I realised that this is an area that needs some discussion. This is my opinion of what Kingdom finances look like according to what the Lord has taught me over the years and to scriptures I have been shown, but I am not the be all and end all to thinking, so it is something you might want to check out for yourselves. The way of the world is to store up riches, to save for a rainy day, to have enough to protect themselves should something happen, that I have earned this and it is mine and therefore I can do what I want with it. The way of the Kingdom is a way of giving to the poor, giving to God's people in need and practicing hospitality, of not worrying about tomorrow, of trusting God for the future and His provision in that time of need when it arises, of everything is His (God's). I believe that if you see a need in front of you and you have something in which can help with that need, whatever it is,...

Prophetic pictures: Burnt Flesh, Big Fish, Expansion, Signs and Wonders

A couple of weeks ago I have had several visions which I believe is a prophetic picture of what God is currently doing and what He is about to do. Fi rstly, I saw ahead on the highway a huge explosion with black smoke billowing up and as I came to it I saw people had been burnt and I could smell the smell of burnt flesh. Our God is consuming fire (Heb 12:29). His love is in the fire. Something the Lord has been talking to us about is the fall of the acts of the flesh, the strength of man. This vision I saw was a representation that of the fire of Gods love is coming and going to burn away the things of the flesh, the things that were not of the Lo rd, the things that may have been good in their time but today is a new day. Perhaps the familiar things we are so used to that we don't even know it's there. The way we might speak, the way we might act, the way we might respond that are familiar with us but aren't necessarily of the Kingdom natur...

Whats in the garage?

The garage, a place of storage, a place of dealing with things later when time allows, a place often of mess. That's whats in our garage anyway. I woke up out of my sleep last night with this 'there's something in the garage'. So at midnight I woke up Jim and got him out checking out the garage and I found the cars had been left unlocked outside with the windows down, the water heater in the prayer room (one of our garages) was still on from the prayer time that morning, milk on the bench and so thankful that I was woken to check things out. But after this I then had another dream and in this dream we were quests at someone's home invited for dinner but in this home after dinner the host was so concerned about her home and the particular way her curtain was hung it was really fascinating. She was so wrapped up in her house and how things should be done that she failed to notice her husband sitting on the chair waiting to talk to her and in the end he got up ...

It's never going to be the same again

Several years ago Jim and I owned a caravan at Pauanui Holiday Park. It was a permanent caravan that was ours that we could go over to anytime. But after owning it for a few years, the next season we were in dictated that we sell that caravan. We have gone back since and wandered through the campsite remembering our times there and all the good times it held, and at times wishing we still had that, but now in going there, we can barely recognise the place we had, because it too has changed so much and it is not how it was. Recently Jim and I went down to Queenstown where our daughter now lives. But it was an area that I went to for some of my time as a child. I grew up for a time spending my holidays at Lake Hayes in Arrowtown. And now after going back there all these years later, can once again barely recognise what it was like in the past now things have changed and developed so much since that time. The once carefree memories of a child...

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